"Whatever
you do, have fun"
-Common Saying
Try
the following suggestions to drive your comrades to the brink of
insanity. They will like it, especially if you are the cherry new guy.
I promise.
- End every sentence with "in
accordance with the op-order" ie: "I'm going to the latrine... in
accordance with the op-order" Must be done often to be effective.
- Quote Army Regulations, and
Training Manuals for everything. Make up your own. ie: "I can't take
the trash out as per AR-77-9 Appendix B"
- Insist that you are cold and you
need to "spoon" to conserve body heat. Even when it's hot.
- Speak at all times as if you
were on the radio. ie: Sergeant this is Private, what is your guidance
for my element break... we are standing by in accorandce with the
op-order over..."
- Every five minutes: "Oh my God,
I'm going to snap!.... no, I'm ok. I'm ok...!"
- Talk to your weapon in seductive
or childish tones. ie: "there you are! look at you.. you're a mess!"
- Ask your boss to repeat the
simplest instructions. ie: "So you want me to put those there boots...
on these feet? let me get this right... those boots.."
- When doing PT, act as if you are
really tired right after you begin. ie: "whew! Five pushups.. I thought
I was never going to make it.. so, tomorrow at six?"
- "Friendly enemy at 3 O'clock,
direction three seven zero degrees at six o'clock, distance 6 mils
polar, dismounted troops mounted on a truck in the open by the
forest... how copy over?"
- "Did you hear that?" (silence)
"Did you hear that?" (silence) "Did you hear that?" (silence)...
- Speak about military things
without using proper nomenclature. ie: "Sergeant my boom stick is
broken. It won't throw the little rock out"
- Use extreme tactical
movements. ie: low crawl to
chow. Try to get other's to join you due to the imminent "threat".