www.kalimadragon.com KALIMADRAGON'S MILITARY ANNOYANCE GUIDE
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"Whatever you do, have fun" -Common Saying
Try the following suggestions to drive your comrades to the brink of insanity. They will like it, especially if you are the cherry new guy. I promise.
  1. End every sentence with "in accordance with the op-order" ie: "I'm going to the latrine... in accordance with the op-order" Must be done often to be effective.
  2. Quote Army Regulations, and Training Manuals for everything. Make up your own. ie: "I can't take the trash out as per AR-77-9 Appendix B"
  3. Insist that you are cold and you need to "spoon" to conserve body heat. Even when it's hot.
  4. Speak at all times as if you were on the radio. ie: Sergeant this is Private, what is your guidance for my element break... we are standing by in accorandce with the op-order over..."
  5. Every five minutes: "Oh my God, I'm going to snap!.... no, I'm ok. I'm ok...!"
  6. Talk to your weapon in seductive or childish tones. ie: "there you are! look at you.. you're a mess!"
  7. Ask your boss to repeat the simplest instructions. ie: "So you want me to put those there boots... on these feet? let me get this right... those boots.."
  8. When doing PT, act as if you are really tired right after you begin. ie: "whew! Five pushups.. I thought I was never going to make it.. so, tomorrow at six?"
  9. "Friendly enemy at 3 O'clock, direction three seven zero degrees at six o'clock, distance 6 mils polar, dismounted troops mounted on a truck in the open by the forest... how copy over?"
  10. "Did you hear that?" (silence) "Did you hear that?" (silence) "Did you hear that?" (silence)...
  11. Speak about military things without using proper nomenclature. ie: "Sergeant my boom stick is broken. It won't throw the little rock out"
  12. Use extreme tactical movements. ie: low crawl to chow. Try to get other's to join you due to the imminent "threat".